… before the battle could be joined, the interior levee crumbled further, sending another flood down the tunnels. Miles Fairchild, in his weakened state, was unable to resist the deluge. He was pulled off his feet and towards the cave entrance. The remainder of the party (Dazzetaine Deepfury, Gorok, and Therani Woodlight), unwilling to leave him to die, jumped into the flood and tumbled to the cave entrance. There, they found a paladin, Sir Edward, tending to their fallen comrade. For reasons as yet unknown, he was also searching for Gundren Stoneforge, and had tracked him to these caves. They decided to join forces.
For the next 16 hours, they raided the goblin hideout, killing the defenders and retreating multiple times to tend to their wounds. Despite some close calls, they were able to defeat all of the cave denizens and rescue one of their missing employers. Sildar Hallwinter was badly hurt, having been near death and thrown from a cliff. However, he was conscious, and had many things to say.
It is not often I sleep during a battle but strangely I did today and rather deeply, too. It was a dream about bugbear-fighting.
It was a narrative and it went like this:
Bugbear-fighting is a creepy sport which is very popular in caves in the forests. There were professional bugbear-fighters. A bugbear-fighter is called a matador, and his equipment consists of a healer’s kit called a muerta, and a bright red armor. He waves his armor at the bugbear, which makes the bugbear big and causes him to charge. The matador then goes through a series of bloody dodge maneuvers to avoid getting hit by the bugbear’s “sword.” If the matador kills the bugbear, the spectators yell, “harder, harder!” and throw their arrows into the ring. If the bugbear wins, they yell “Shit!!” and call for another matador. Bugbear fighting is a very fun sport, but it will never be popular in Lan’Gess because the Lan’Gessi don’t believe in cruelty to beasts.
Sir Edward reviews: Monsters That Hit Me.
- Bridge goblin archer: unsatisfying. Got a good hit in while my back was turned, but refused to attack my shield. Stop hitting the ranger — I’m the one with the bullseye on my shield! One star.
- Water goblin: too weak! Hit me once and then got killed by a dwarf. Points for trying, I suppose. Two stars.
- Bugbear leader: Great muscle, decent stamina, lousy attention span. Slammed my shield for four or five rounds, but just as I was getting into it he turned his back on me and went after the ranger, so I had to kill him. Four stars, would’ve been five if he’d managed to knock me unconscious.
- Sauna goblins: Won’t stay in front of me. The shield’s over here, guys! It’s got a big bullseye on it! Stop flanking — I’m not into that! Also, frankly, I like them better when they keep their clothes on. One star.